Seed - Preview

This game is, as my grand pappy would say "a "
Here is a collaboration of images from the game.

Seed is set in a future, perfect society, which apparently includes inch thick lines around everything.

Collision detection is unimportant in such a breakthrough game.

Downloading patches before every run is a must for a futuristic society, probably updating the thickness of the outlines.

How are you to test a Beta if the server is always down?

In the future, people don’t know where to go without a traffic cone to tell them. You point and click to place a cone, they you will walk towards it, and then you can adjust the camera, find somewhere to go, point and click, rinse, repeat.

People sure are unfriendly, especially for a game without a combat system where you are working towards a utopia.
OK, I know this game is just in beta, but it is scheduled to release on May 2nd, and I doubt any redeeming qualities can be found or implemented in the game by that time. I can’t believe I was excited to get the beta files link, what a waste of time.

Dreamfall: The Longest Journey

I hope you like the name, because you'll see it every five seconds in a load screen. Seriously, enter a building, new part of town or tie your shoe and the game sends you into a loading screen. These story intermissions only last about ten seconds, but why can’t the game load more, for a longer period of time, so that the game is interrupted less and you have time to do something productive, like those damn Sudoku puzzles. Or maybe, the game could load while you are playing, since it only takes ten seconds, there can’t be much CPU drain. Before I rip this game some more, I want to give it bonus points for using the phrase “I love him/her to death, but…” because the ‘but’ is always the greatest reason to dislike somebody, stealing your boyfriend/girlfriend or like killing your cat or grandmother. Anyway, the cut scenes are… well… the game, I don’t mind this that much, I liked it in Indigo Prophecy (or Fahrenheit, for those blokes across the pond), but they need to be more than just the mouth moving and the occasional arm twitch. The story is pretty good, set in the future, where monkey robots are pets, and made me play the game a little longer than I wanted to. The last thing I’ll say is that the “viral marketing” that keeps appearing on TVs looks a little too much like The Ring for my taste, we get it, little girls without faces are scary, but so is other stuff, like things that can’t be sent to their rooms.
This game gets a 3 out of 5.

Ratings System

The ratings system for games is as follows. 1)Horrible, avoid this game. 2) Major design flaws, not worth playing. 3) Completely average, if you like the genre or series, give it a try. 4) Great game, definate buy. 5) Perfect, sell kidneys to buy this game if you have to. I don't do halves or a 1-10 scale because it leaves too much room for interpretation, and some of your weak minds wouldn't be able to handle it.

Auto Assault Preview

Auto Assault is a Persistent Online Action MMORPG, whatever that means. First off, the game makes you download and install a patch every time you play, not a big deal now since it is in beta, but if the developers get too comfortable with the system, you might spend more time updating than playing. The game runs you through the regular “go to checkpoint A and learn to shoot your gun, cutscene with some story…blah”. Unfortunately the beta shut down before I could play much, but from what I did see, the game makes good use of the Havok engine, it seems like most stuff is destructible, as well it should be in a post apocalyptic world, and some checkpoints are on ramps to force you to test the shocks on your car, which seem to be made of some sort of futuristic indestructible material, since I fell 200 ft without consequence. The game lets you pick out your character, human, alien or other, and your hair, hair1, hair2, hair3 or hair4, not too many choices or you’ll never get to the game. There seem to be plenty of upgrades, with weapons and armor, not with hair though. From what I’ve seen, this games looks like a good transition from hardcore RPG to hardcore action or vice-versa, but I can’t see anybody shelling out the monthly fee for too long. Auto Assault will be available April 13th.

Tomb Raider: Legend Demo

I just finished the demo of Tomb Raider: Legend. The game looks good, but not great. The controls are good, but the targeting system is a little off and you can empty a whole clip at someone and they’ll still be standing. Also, the camera keeps fighting you, which makes moving object difficult. The environments and everything look as well as they should. The one puzzle in the demo isn’t that hard, but I’m sure they get harder. You might want to wait until you can get a better price, but if you like the series, it’s a buy.

Games of April

I’ve already mentioned Call of Cthulhu, but here are some games to look at (or laugh at) in April.

Origin of the Species- a sci-fi third person shooter, if the graphics weren’t old and the protagonist wasn’t a space chick with a teddy bear backpack, this might be worth a look. I mean, there are definitely not third person shooters to look forward to… RESIDENT EVIL 4! Skip this one.

Tomb Raider: Legend- Laura Croft got back… excuse me… is back. I’m sure this game will have amazing “physics” and so on. If you’re a fan of the games then I’m sure you already pre-ordered this one, along with picking up a gallon of hand lotion at Wal-Mart. I’ll probably give this game a look, ya know, just for the articles.

Condemned: Criminal Origins- A horror action adventure game by Monolith. Looks like a pretty scary game, and after F.E.A.R., they could make a game about peeing in the snow and I’d be the first to get it (Level 9 - your word is: Government). The demo is out, so take a look.

Dreamfall: The Longest Journey- I have no idea what to think about this game, so um, I guess I’ll just wait till it’s out and um… “GET TO THE VAN, I’VE GOT THE GAME, GET TO THE ****ING VAN”. (Seriously, stealing is wrong… sort of)

Shadowgrounds- A sci-fi shooter with an overhead, 3rd person view. It sorta takes the fun out of shooting things when they look like ants and you can see what is on the other side of the wall. Oh no, when I get to close to this door, a funny colored ant will try and kill me… why is there no roof?!.

Resident Evil 4- a game so good, it sold Game Cube units, a more impressive feat, I can not imagine. Is that a banana in my pocket or am I just excited about Resident Evil 4… Both! Resident Evil 4 is a 3rd person, horror action adventure and is set to release April 28. This is the game to get in April.

Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth

Officially, this game isn’t out yet, but since I’ve been playing it for two weeks, I guess I’ll review it. The thing that stands out in this game the most is that there is no HUD. To gauge your health and mental status you have to listen to your heartbeats and breathing, along with the voices in your head. The game starts you off in front of a cult house with people shooting at you for no good reason, and what really sucks is that you don’t get any weapons till level three. So you make your way through the house, and see things that eventually send you to the asylum. Years later when you’re somewhat in touch with reality, you are sent to find a missing person in the surreal town of Innsmouth. The first part of the game is basically building background and solving puzzles, some of which are real thinkers (or maybe I’m just a simpleton). Finally, after people (or whatever) chase you all around town, you’ll get a crowbar, and then you can take out a few guards and get the shotgun and pistol as well. No doubt by now you will have been injured in some way, so this is where the games unique healing approach comes in. There are no general cuts and bruises that simple require you to hit the “heal” key, you are required to assess your wounds and if you have the right medical supplies, treat them. If you don’t have enough Barbie Band-Aids you’ll slowly lose blood until everything becomes grey and you die. Or maybe you suffer from a broken leg and you’ll limp down a hallway while listening to yourself grimace in pain because you used up your last splint. The sounds and music in this game are perfect, from the voices in your head to the creepy townsfolk to the grinding of broken bones, I wouldn’t change a thing. One of the problems I have with the games is the stealth portion in the beginning, which requires you to run like hell because you don’t have your Splinter Cell photon suit on and everybody in the whole town saw you creep from one pile of boxes to the other. Besides that, the graphics could have been a little better, and the environments could be more destructible (crowbar + box = shattered box, not dust cloud). Overall, this is a great game for the pc and you should give it a try.

Welcome

In our society, there is one job, nay, duty that is above all the rest. Video game reviewers help people sift through the mundane and the “not really adding anything to art form” games that are wasting people’s valuable time and money, and keeping them from their jobs and family. For so long I have been wasting my time, and others, by just playing games and not contributing to the gamer society. So, I have decided to start reviewing games in the hope that one day you will read one of my review and say "screw him, I'll buy it anyway" and after a few hours of boring game play you'll realize how foolish you were and send me an undetermined amount of money, or just read more of my reviews.